Sunday, June 7, 2009

more beautiful you

As Im getting older I'm realizing that some things matter more then others. Let me explain. I grew up with some pretty nasty achne and my parents never let me live it down. They would constantly make comments like "I see your picking at your face again" or "Are you washing your face? because your really breaking out" not once did they offer an encouraging word unless it was to remind me to wash my face. As I got older my face started to clear but i began to gain weight, and low and behold dad too noticed and didn't forget to let me know that i was looking "chubby" and "thick".

This was all too much for me to handle. I felt defeated, betrayed, alone and ugly. I actually started to eat differently infront of my dad, wear baggier clothes around him. I saw my self differently in the mirror and contemplated skipping a few meals. That was when I became grateful for my migranes because if I don't eat I get them amoungst many other triggers. But I began to realize that this is foolish - I shouldn't care what I look like on the outside...

Psalm 139: 14 was a new truth that helped me mend as well as the song More Beautiful You by Jonny Diaz

I wont lie saying that I'm 100 percent confident and comfortable with my appearance but I'm working on it

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