Have you ever listened to a song at least a hundred times and on that one hundred and first time the meaning totally hits you, that you find yourself hanging on every word. A week ago Sunday it was the song: Hungry (falling on my knees) by Joy Williams, this past week it was Spoken For by MercyMe.
I have been so overwhelmed lately with school and basketball and I think it's mostly because I am so unorganized that I can't focus and prioritize my life and duties in such a mannor that I can truely get anything accomplished. I am definately my worst critic too, which doesn't help.
I lead on that everything is fine, when I truly don't remember the last time I was genuinely happy for longer than a couple hours. I don't sleep at night, because I keep thinking about all the things I didn't get done that day and the things I need to do the next. My neck is so stiff because that is where I carry all my stress; in my neck and shoulders. Mom is so worried that she thinks I need to go to a counselor or a shrink to talk about my life, since I don't talk to anyone else. I don't talk because no one listens, no one understands because no one knows. It's not just school that's bothering me - infact if anything that's the least of my worries, I just amplify it to thrawt issues going on in my personal life, with my friends and family.
I'm finding that inspite of all this, all the crap that happens in the day, all the stress, tasks left unfinished, arguments with mom, what have you - if I recenter myself around the Cross of Christ: I'm home. I enter a place where everything around me blurs and slows down. Where I find rest and comfort and peace and joy. All that really matters in life is God, telling others of the Good News and living life for the Glory of God in everything I do.
No comments:
Post a Comment