On the light side

So today i was sharing some words with my coach and he said that my blogs were "too deep" for him. My appologies. So here's something a little lighter. You may laugh, shake your head, even have the urge to thwap me on the forehead, please do "gently" :)

As a child do you recall hiding from the world under the kitchen table with scissors in hand about to face the doom of being bald as a reprecussion from cutting a large sum of hair from your head? Ah, yes we all do, don't be embarressed. Well I was that child, who was scared to face her parents with an uneven hair do, thus i chopped holes in my socks. That however still resulted in a spanking and groundation. :(

Today tho, I reentered that time. Yes, I succombed to that 6 year old self. Sadly I could not obtain the traditions for squatting under the kitchen tabel - simply because my stature would have made this task rediculously unattainable.

So there I stood infront of the mirror, scissors in hand, contemplating the hack job that I was about to step into. Now it was only my bangs, and just a trim but boy oh boy there is a reason that I pay someone the big bucks to do this for me :)

Currently I am speculating the many reasons/excuses to tell my parents.
1. I find it rediculous to pay any amount of money for a simple bang trim
2. It's just hair, it will grow back
3. (specifically for my dad) Just tryin to get rid of some of the black
4. This is why God invented bobby-pins and Hats
5. At lease it's not my whole head
....that's all i got

help a sista out?

Attention!

FYI: It's hard talking to the guy you like when all he talks about is how gorgeous this other girl is.

the LOvE of my life!

Her name is Naa Lamely. Her name is Isabella Quarcopome. She's 7 years old. I've only seen her in pictures, talked to her on paper. But I have wept over her, I have been overjoyed by her, I have been encouraged and heartbroken. If there was ever such a word to sum up all my emotions; it would be Love. I have never loved someone so hard before, so complete. All of her letters are pinned to my walls. My heart hurts because I can't wipe her tears, calm her fears, play with her, share in her excitement. I often contemplate why I was born into such a place where I have more than I need, yet not everything I want. I am I able to walk out my front door and feel safe walking across town, why can't she feel that way to? Late last spring I made the descision to celebrate my birthday but not with gifts but celebrating my life, my health, my accomplishments, my failures with my family. Yes, we still had cake and a special dinner but I didn't get gifts, except a check for what my parents would have spent on gifts made out of Compassion for Isabella's family. My needs for daily living are taken care of, I have water and clean at that. I have clothes (too many). I have food and plenty of it in the cupboards and fridge but let it go to waste because I prefer something else. She brings so much humility to my life. Whenever I get too proud or when my focus is off, she centers me. God has used her as such a blessing in my life. I just hope that one day I will get to see her face to face, I eagerly await.

Fake wanting to be Real

Hypocrisy - we all have it. We all say one thing and do the opposite or don't do it at all.

I'm in the process of "cleaning house" - not only physically but spiritually, mentally. I'm attempting to keep my room and bathroom clean by making sure everything has its proper place and if there is no place I will either make one or simply rid myself from it.

A few years ago most people would probably consider me a nun because I simply did not listen to anything but Christian music. I didn't watch tv (still don't). and I never cursed. Present day?? I listen to songs that aren't demeaning of people (except for Your So Gay : katy perry) but definately listen to secular music. I also have grown acustom to droppin the F bomb and such things. I have completely lost all my convictions and I'm not proud of that because it's taken a serious toll on my relationship with God.

Sure I can place blame on being public schooled and my parents swearing in the home but that doesn't justify my actions and my choices. That's kinda like saying, "A man is having an affair" when really that man, is commiting Adultry. It's just sugar coating it.

So to clean this area up is to put off my swearing and to put on righteousness in the form of Scripture memorization:

• Matthew 15: 8 "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."
• Matthew 15: 11 "What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.'"
• James 3: 6-10 "The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can ame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise out Lord and Father, and with it we curese men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be."

This isn't going to be easy but I have friends who are holding me accountable. :D

I just feel like I am called to be more in life. I can't keep skimming the serface. It's like what Coach Bin said a few weeks ago, that we can't win a championship by doing the bare minimum and hoping others will pick up the slack for us. No, I have to do everything at a 100% a hundred percent of the time. Always striving to do better, be better. Which gives me incentive to work out, control my tongue, keep my room cleaned and pass my classes. I have been a slacker long enough, now it's time to be proactive!

YAY for self peptalks! :D

XOXO